Going Back is Not Going Backwards
I turned 30 yesterday— a natural point for looking back on life.
I spent the last three years mostly in the US and in Singapore. My idea of success was different then: to live abroad and migrate towards a higher standard of living.
Three countries in three years, and now I find myself back in the Philippines.
Being back in the Philippines surprised me. I expected to be infuriated by the inconveniences that plagued Filipino life — traffic, lack of sidewalks, and slow processes. These factors didn’t bother me as much as I thought they would.
Instead, I was reminded of what truly mattered.
Happiness, purpose, values, belonging. I found that magic moment when mission manifests into meaning.
It’s great to see that despite a struggles and setbacks, the idealism of my late 20’s lived on. This idealism is not naive; it’s a core part of who I am. It is the compass of my life that emerges when I listen to myself, instead of the noise from the world outside.
It’s easy to forget what matters to you if everyone around you is chasing after some attractive milestone — pay bumps, title promotions, prestigious company movements, or cross-country transfers.
But being back in the Philippines, in its gradual movement towards a post-COVID world, reminded me of what matters.
What matters are these: the people you are surrounded with, the future you work towards, and the dreams you are uniquely capable of striving for.
These foundations form a sense of belonging, and make life worth living. Everything else is nice-to-have— convenience over real passion.
Don’t get bogged down or distracted by those nice to haves.
Here are three ways that helped me stay on track:
- Don’t overthink: solve for first principles and figure out details later. Overthinking leads to inaction. Don’t plan for hypothetical problems. Plan for the problem that’s ahead.
- Listen to yourself, in all your complex dimensions. Logic and pragmatism is helpful, but consider your emotions and feelings. You are human. What does your sense of morality and purpose point you towards?
- Write down your why’s and read it back. Stress and anxiety compel us to make suboptimal decisions, because we can’t distinguish progress from escape in these moments. Write your purpose down. In your gravest moments, they will remind you of your why's.
I admit — I’ve had bouts with self-doubt. I was worried of going around this three-year loop only to be back at the starting line.
But going back is not going backwards.
The life journey is not about linear progression. It’s an evolution that runs in cycles — a lifelong process of building towards a higher level of certainty about who you are and what makes you happy.
The goals and tangible milestones I set years ago don’t seem to matter anymore. I have a better sense of what matters to me, where I belong, and how I manifest my work into meaning.
These have made the journey worth taking.
